Ants In The Bathroom

One day there were 3 ants. They had gone into a house and had no place safe to sleep in except for the bathroom. So the first ant slept in the sink, the second ant slept in the shower, and the third ant slept in the toilet.
The next morning after the all woke up, the first ant said, "I slept fine."
The second ant said "I slept fine." And the third ant said, "I slept fine,
but first it rained, then it thundered, and then a big log fell on my head."

Pray for Me

At church one Sunday during alter prayer, this little boy started acting up. His mother told him to quiet down. The little boy continued to act out. So the mother picked up the child and was heading for the back doors when the child screamed out, "PRAY FOR ME, PLEASE!"

The Snail Returns

One day a guy heard a knock on his door, so he answered it and no one was there. But he looked down and saw a snail. So he picked up the snail and threw it as far as he could. 3 years later, the guy hears a knock on his door, so he answered it and no one was there. He looked down and there was that same snail. The snail said, "What the fuck was that all about?!?!"

Do you have a problem

A bear decides to go take a shit in the woods. Upon entering the woods, he sees a rabbit doing the same as he is about to do. So he takes his shit and notices that he got shit on his hair again. He asked the rabbit, "Hey rabbit, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your hair?" The rabbit replied, "No." So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass with him.

Tigger

Why did Tigger get his head stuck in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.